For once I wished I were USA so that I could work up random embargo procedures to nip this Iran in the bud. But as my imaginary avatar did, I too underestimated Ahmadenejad's under- dogged determination and gumption to always punch above weight... way above in this case.
But why am I committing the blasphemy of indulging in stupid humor when the one thing that I mortally fear is here! Enough of the digressions... let us focus here, or rather, let us give in.
Today is the turn of the right side. Well, I must point out here that the right side has been the favored one over the years. Has it partly got something to do with the fact that I am right-handed myself? That's something for those men and women dressed in white and earning their lives through high-handed hokum to ponder.
So what is it like? Hmm... how do you put it down in words? Howsoever you do it will be one big injustice to what happens to those 1500 grams. As most thank you speeches go, "Words fail to capture...". But I do need to begin somewhere for this has been too long an introduction.
It is like an iron spear, you know... the kind that is a huge cylinder with barbed wire wound up around it which finishes off in a very pointed end that's tipped with fatal poison. And there's someone working it furiously in such a way that its pushed from both ends alternately - one end comes out of the head in one instant and the other comes out on the far side in the other. You've always wondered about the phrase "driving me crazy", haven't you? Well, for me, this is where it originates from and this is where it ends.
Aah, I see. You've made the cardinal error of believing that what I described above is all of it... and perhaps, by logical extension, you've already decided that something like this is manageable, even though just barely so. Well, there's another saying I'd like to employ here, "Well begun is half done!"
Over and above what my cranium has been subjected to, there's this thick acidic liquid pouring itself into the right side in torrents... so much so that I see scope for hydel power generation here. Just the small matter that this acidic liquid is all up in monstrous flames rising high and handsome on to the roof of the grey matter and turning it into charcoal black!
Wait, what did I hear you say? Yeah you're right... my head's a Goddamn blast furnace for all practical purposes. It does turn iron into steel... how else do you think I've survived everything? Fact of the matter is everything else after this has been a cakewalk. In fact, there have been times when I've missed this mad rush of activity and so I plead myself guilty of turning against myself. Well, having heard me out here, don't you agree that what I achieved by doing so is perfectly understandable?
Your answer is no, is it? I guess I'll call you someday when the 20 minute ride atop The Roller Coaster through Hell is on.