Blank Noise

A half-lit joint
A glass of whiskey spilling away
The fractured shoulder
Pink Floyd playing through the earphones

Strong on the outside
Fragile like glass on the inside
And confused somewhere in the middle

The questions don't seem to end
The answers seem very hard to come by
Status Quo reinforced

A monologue with oneself?
Or, a dialogue with the other half?
Silence and cacophony intermingle
Blank Noise

Nightmares and Scars

They beat him up to pulp in the alley,
A broken jaw and a blackened eye.
He got up somehow...
and ran for his life.

As he entered the dark hallway,
He saw his image in the wall at the end.
It was as bad (good?) as a ghastly devil...
The wind got knocked out of his sails!

He ran again; fate it was or a twist in the tale?!
Even tougher it got to rein in the horses of thought.
A dank, unkempt, claustrophobic room awaited.
And he escaped into it, wasn't he lucky?!

Saw 'em there for the first time ever,
seemed too good to be true, all of them.
"Oh well...", said he to no one in particular.

He was flying up and above...
when they brought him down with a thud.
"You worthless piece of shit!"
He gave up...
before, much before he gave in.
And ran again!

Escaping from the escape route...
Hell yeah, what a sight!

Hearing myself out

Hear that eerie sound in the middle of the deathly silence?

That's me gnashing my teeth!

At what is... and what could have been.

What should I be regretful for...

For it all fell apart or, for it was a castle in the sand.

Or for the fact that I've got better at putting up a face!

They say resilience is the stuff the strong and brave are made of...

I say to them, they have never been resilient enough!

Resilience is what the meek prefer, without a voice or a backbone.

The ones, who have been strong for too long, just break down. 

 Someday I'll say it all too loud...

So what if it will be too late!

And so what if there will be no one around! 

I know I'll still hear myself out...

…Gnashing my teeth in the middle of the deathly silence.

Pretty average stuff, this. But at least I'm back. Can only go up from here.

And though the post belies this, I wish you all a very Happy Diwali!

Outlandish Soliloquy

Under the monstrous tree brought down by the avalanche
Lies a battered soul,
He's fucked up entirely, the Devil owns it now
Still he thinks there's a way out

He asks himself, "Who are you?"
"Don't know and I bloody don't give a damn" is the reply he gets
"Outlandish Soliloquy, this!!", says the soul
The Devil delivers one final blow!

The soul is resurrected now
He crawls into the fire and bathes in it
He is his coffin, he pushes nails deep inside
He has the bucket near, but doesn't kick it aside
He becomes the Devil or the Devil becomes he?

Scarred

Poison eats me from the inside
No more is slow death a farce
The suffering increases by the second
The acid of insecurity gives me scars

The wounds refuse to heal
The pain just does not subside
The crooked hand of fate
puts barbed wire in my backside

What awaits me in the offing is as clear
as the sky on a turbulent stormy night
The past was voodoo-ed by satanic powers
Dementors take me over and I give up the fight

The most twisted demons wreck havoc right in my eyes
my alter-ego thinks they are angels
The robes and the halo seem Heavenly
I know Hell has a knack of deadly disguise

I can no more talk to myself
There's an iron curtain in the system
I make slow, deep cuts with the knife
Masochism resides in my cranium

Gloom to Melancholy

The devil seeks the angel,
Wants to gorge on him, Period!
It’s the Day of Reckoning!
Three cheers to Armageddon!!!
What matters is immaterial,
What does not,
Has been fucked apart too.

In spaces between blankness,
In crowds amidst mobs,
A raging fear sends chills down the spines.
There is sweat on the brow,
And it threatens to melt the brain.
The twist of fate has caught you unawares
Utopia has been hacked down

You laugh the twisted laugh till dark humor dons a shade you cannot fathom out
You cry out till your throat gets sore
You think till you get deluded, hallucinated
You run until you encounter the Dead End
You feel the pain till your soul is kidnapped
You see the illusion of damage till it turns to annihilation.

And then, you tread the path from gloom to melancholy!!!

Euthanasia is what I seek!

Psychedelia strikes me
It's insanity for sure
I'm losing my grip on things
there seems to be no cure!

She has left me on the crossroads,
they have turned their backs.
What I thought of as an invincible wall,
hell, ya, it's got cracks!

They say it's a passing phase,
looks like the phase lasts a birth.
This is what they call a disaster,
I'm the last guy running in this mad race!

It's a monstrous tree,
Entangled I feel in the ghoulish branches,
The bark is so sticky that it hurts,
I just can't let go
Egregiously sour and laced with the choicest venom,
the leaves and fruits seek to destroy my cranium!

What do I do?
I've nowhere to go!
One look at myself in the mirror
"A decimated, good-for-nothing warrior",
howls from alter-ego from within.

There's been talk of a fairy-tale ending,
and also, every black cloud has a silver lining,
about light at the end of the tunnel and the like!
with me, it is sadistically different
the fairy has transformed into a witch,
The lightning camouflaged has stuck me too
the tunnel has become a funnel,
On which end am I is crystal clear,

It engulfs me all around, it's fear!
Euthanasia is what I seek!

Readers, please pour in with your comments.
Ciao!